I have been conspicuously absent from here lately. May was a month of reflection and some deep soul searching. I've had to deal with some medical concerns that will involve adding another diabetic medication, a visit to a dermatologist and some leg, hip and back pain. This has led to feeling very tired and depressed. For those who have dealt with depression, you know what it's like. You aren't interested in much of anything. You don't want to go anywhere. Surrounded by lots of opportunities to be creative here at home, I've just sat. And I've tried to pray.
God is so faithful. Even when you question His plans. Even when you're just a tad angry at Him. Even when you wonder if you are losing faith - there He is!
The last few months have seen me in transition from a charismatic, highly emotional attempt to connect to God to stepping back and really evaluating just who He is; just what salvation is. I've been reading, listening to messages from trusted men of God and opened myself up to what God wants of me and not what Melanie wants. Proverbs 3: 5-6 tells me. . .
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding.
In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths."
I can truly say that I have turned completely around from what I originally thought was important regarding my relationship with God. I've had to discard ideas and beliefs that I bought into - coming from a "word of faith" background. Instead, I've once again fallen in love with my Bible and the Jesus who is all throughout the scriptures. For the first time, in a very long time, I feel at peace with my relationship with God. It's a very freeing thing to relinquish control to an Almighty Father who knows me much, much better than I know myself.
I do love the contemporary praise and worship songs out there. But there are those older hymns (2001) that touch my heart even more. Here is an acappela version of "In Christ Alone." Listen to the harmony, read the lyrics. The whole Gospel is right there!
It's all about giving glory to God!
written 2001 by Keith Getty and Stuart Townend.
Blessings
